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Critical Conversations: Pride

Rory Molleda

By D.C. United

June 27^th, 2020

D.C. United are committed to uniting the District and using our platform to bring our diverse community together as one.

Rory Molleda, our Director of Team Administration does an incredible job at reflecting the values that D.C. United want to represent. Earlier this week, Rory led our Critical Conversation about the intersection of gender and sexual orientation.

We sat down and asked Rory about his journey and what led to him holding such a key leadership role with the club.

DCU: Can you tell us about your personal background?

Rory: My family and I moved to the US from Venezuela when I was four years old then I grew up in northern Virginia until I moved to North Carolina to study at Guilford College. I played soccer my whole life and played through college. Even though I played at the division 3 level, it was still a dream come true for me to play soccer competitively for as long as I did. The only regret I have about my career was not coming out sooner. I would’ve loved to have been one of the few openly gay male athletes at my college. It could’ve been super impactful to my teammates and the community but I just wasn’t ready yet.

DCU: When did you decide to pursue a career in sports and what challenges have you encountered along the way?

Rory: Growing up in the DMV, I was a huge fan of D.C. United and started going to games at RFK as a little kid. Soccer was my life and I was going to do everything I could to keep it that way, so from an early age I knew I wanted to work in the sports industry, I just needed to figure out what exactly and how to do it. Luckily my college had a great Sports Management program with great advisers and they helped me with that journey. I did internships in several different worlds where I learned how to run an aquatics center, learned the ins and outs of running a NCAA tournament and finally how to put on soccer games at RFK. The challenge was focusing my passion into a particular area and then getting my foot in the door. Thats the tough part but once I was in, all I had to do was show how hard I was willing to work and the passion and I had. Sometimes I would doubt myself because I was worried people wouldn’t accept me for being gay. So I told myself I’d always prove myself with my work ethic so no one could use my sexuality against me. They’d have no choice but to respect me for that.

Critical Conversations: Pride

Critical Conversations: Pride

Critical Conversations: Pride

Critical Conversations: Pride

Critical Conversations: Pride

Critical Conversations: Pride

Critical Conversations: Pride

Critical Conversations: Pride

DCU: Could you elaborate on how you landed at the club and your experience along the way?

Rory: In 2013, I was lucky enough to finally land a summer internship in the operations department with DCU after I graduated college. I think I applied for 3 or 4 others but this was the one I wanted most. We did so much that summer, from running game day ops for MLS matches, helping transform RFK for the US Soccer Centennial Match against Germany, traveling to Baltimore to help organize the Gold Cup quarterfinals and helping the club go on to win the US Open Cup. I couldn’t have asked for a better summer. During that time, I met the then-Team Administrator Francisco Tobar. I was captivated by his job. I figured someone had to be in charge of booking flights and hotel reservations but I had no idea how extensive that world was. After a few interactions with him, I knew thats what I wanted to do. That would be my next move. I left the club to work in youth soccer tournament management but after 5 months received a call from Francisco and the rest is history. I’m so grateful to him for giving me the chance to learn and grow under his leadership.

DCU: You also lived in Spain, what are the cultural differences in your experience surrounding the LGBTQ community?

Rory: Spain is so special. In many ways, they might be backwards or a little behind but in terms of LGBTQ rights, they’ve always been ahead of the curve. They passed same-sex marriage in 2005, 10 years before the US. People there are so accepting, its always amazing to go back and visit. The gay neighborhood in Madrid, Chuca, is one of my favorite places in the world.

DCU: Have you experienced discrimination because of your sexual orientation?

Rory: I have to say, I am extremely lucky and certainly in the minority because I can’t think of a situation where I’ve experienced any real discrimination. I am so blessed to have a loving and supportive family, amazing friends and an incredible club that has always stood behind me. Not everyone has that same privilege. However, I have heard plenty of slurs and language that was certainly disrespectful to LGBTQ people. Whether it was just in the hallways in high school or in my college soccer locker room, it was everywhere. No one ever called me the f-word but I heard people use it so casually that it just reinforced the idea in my head that I could never come out. That it was never going to be okay. And that was simply not the case.

Critical Conversations: Pride

DCU: Based on your personal experiences what advice would you give to the younger generations that may be struggling with coming out and/or feeling accepted.

Rory: Going off of the previous answer, I very much recognize the privilege I have and for that reason I want to be as visible as possible. I want to make sure people understand that it’s okay. That yes, someone who is gay can play soccer, they can work in sports or have big and important titles. I think the most important message is that you are not alone. There are so many people out there just like you. Whether it's another gay soccer player or basketball player or journalist or athletic trainer. They’re out there. The second most important message is that there is absolutely no pressure for you to come out at any certain time and you should only do so if you feel safe and comfortable. I was 21 years old and even though I wish I had come out earlier, I just wasn’t ready and thats okay. It might take some time to find yourself and love yourself but it's so important. As a great queen once said, if you can’t love yourself, how are you going to love someone else?

Footnotes

📸: Xavier Dussaq.

FootNotes

📸: Xavier Dussaq.

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